Awkwardness….

In the next few weeks, I teach on the Celebrate Recovery Lessons addressing creating a personal inventory of ones issues on Tuesday nights at Believers Church.  Asking my hearers to reflect, document and then make eventual amends with one-self, God and others is awkward.  We generally have spent a life time denying, rationalizing, blaming self-God-others, and searching for ways to anesthetize our shame, guilt and conscience.  So I approach these coming weeks with an awareness, I make people feel awkward.

Yeah, I know that sounds negative but I have come to cherish the role.  I love to challenge the notion that we have to needlessly, endlessly hide from ourselves, God and others, living life in the shadows of who we really are.   Over the last 30 years in my Wednesday  morning Bible study, I can recall multiple times I have shared my inner struggles with my non-CR brothers, only to see them stuff another donut in their mouths so they wouldn’t  have to share.  Vulnerability for guys is generally seen as weakness, and we all know we cannot have any of that.  The problem for me is the Holy Spirit keeps egging me on….maybe it’s the Spiritual Gift of fortitude (courage), or maybe I am just simply obnoxious….  Some people are fools for Christ, some of us…. maybe we’re just obnoxious for Christ.

I encourage you to consider finding freedom in fully submitting to Jesus Christ for His redemption, and journey to growing into the real you.  I believe we are all broken and will not be healthy, whole & complete until we are with Christ, so this journey will last the rest of your life.  I believe with all my heart that it is worth the work.  Jesus is the key, and while this world offers many counterfeits, pursue your Creator.

Having struggled to reconcile my hurts and issues over a lifetime with dead family members has been, and is, daunting.  Not impossible, but very difficult.  That’s a key driver to me to always urge my hearers to address their issues (hurts, habits & addictions…mental health issues….et cetera) with the living.  I have observed healings, great senses of relief and releases of unbearable burdens when people forgive, make amends, and clarify longstanding misunderstandings.  You have to want it badly enough to submit to the pain of the process, but it is the true added value to a life well lived I want you all to experience.

If you ever….ever, have questions about the decision points, the journey, the cost, and the peace with God for which you search, contact me……..

Blessings, Brother Rob

May 5, 2017

If God Is Dead…

Monday - April 25, 2016 at 9:00 pm

  By Patrick J. Buchanan

In a recent column Dennis Prager made an acute observation.

“The vast majority of leading conservative writers … have a secular outlook on life. … They are unaware of the disaster that godlessness in the West has led to.”

These secular conservatives may think that “America can survive the death of God and religion,” writes Prager, but they are wrong.
And, indeed, the last half-century seems to bear him out.

A people’s religion, their faith, creates their culture, and their culture creates their civilization. And when faith dies, the culture dies, the civilization dies, and the people begin to die.

Is this not the recent history of the West?

Today, no great Western nation has a birthrate that will prevent the extinction of its native-born. By century’s end, other peoples and other cultures will have largely repopulated the Old Continent.

European Man seems destined to end like the 10 lost tribes of Israel — overrun, assimilated and disappeared.

And while the European peoples — Russians, Germans, Brits, Balts — shrink in number, the U.N. estimates that the population of Africa will double in 34 years to well over 2 billion people.

What happened to the West?

As G. K. Chesterton wrote, when men cease to believe in God, they do not then believe in nothing, they believe in anything.

As European elites ceased to believe in Christianity, they began to convert to ideologies, to what Dr. Russell Kirk called “secular religions.”

For a time, these secular religions — Marxism-Leninism, fascism, Nazism — captured the hearts and minds of millions. But almost all were among the gods that failed in the 20th century.

Now Western Man embraces the newer religions: egalitarianism, democratism, capitalism, feminism, One Worldism, environmentalism.

These, too, give meaning to the lives of millions, but these, too, are inadequate substitutes for the faith that created the West.

For they lack what Christianity gave man — a cause not only to live for, and die for, but a moral code to live by, with the promise that, at the end a life so lived, would come eternal life. Islam, too, holds out that promise.

Secularism, however, has nothing on offer to match that hope.

Looking back over the centuries, we see what faith has meant.

When, after the fall of the Roman Empire, the West embraced Christianity as a faith superior to all others, as its founder was the Son of God, the West went on to create modern civilization, and then went out and conquered most of the known world.

The truths America has taught the world, of an inherent human dignity and worth, and inviolable human rights, are traceable to a Christianity that teaches that every person is a child of God.

Today, however, with Christianity virtually dead in Europe and slowly dying in America, Western culture grows debased and decadent, and Western civilization is in visible decline.

Rudyard Kipling prophesied all this in “Recessional”:

“Far-called our navies melt away; On dune and headland sinks the fire: Lo, all our pomp of yesterday/Is one with Nineveh and Tyre!”

All the Western empires are gone, and the children of once-subject peoples cross the Mediterranean to repopulate the mother countries, whose native-born have begun to age, shrink and die.

Since 1975, only two European nations, Muslim Albania and Iceland have maintained a birthrate sufficient to keep their peoples alive.

Given the shrinking populations inside Europe and the waves of immigrants rolling in from Africa and the Middle and Near East, an Islamic Europe seems to be in the cards before the end of the century.

Vladimir Putin, who witnessed the death of Marxism-Leninism up close, appears to understand the cruciality of Christianity to Mother Russia, and seeks to revive the Orthodox Church and write its moral code back into Russian law.

And what of America, “God’s country”?

With Christianity excommunicated from her schools and public life for two generations, and Old and New Testament teachings rejected as a basis of law, we have witnessed a startlingly steep social decline.

Since the 1960s, America has set new records for abortions, violent crimes, incarcerations, drug consumption. While HIV/AIDS did not appear until the 1980s, hundreds of thousands have perished from it, and millions now suffer from it and related diseases.

Forty percent of U.S. births are out of wedlock. For Hispanics, the illegitimacy rate is over 50 percent; for African-Americans, it’s over 70 percent.

Test scores of U.S. high school students fall annually and approach parity with Third World countries.
Suicide is a rising cause of death for middle-aged whites.

Secularism seems to have no answer to the question, “Why not?”

“How small, of all that human hearts endure, That part which laws or kings can cause or cure,” wrote Samuel Johnson.

Secular conservatives may have remedies for some of America’s maladies. But, as Johnson observed, no secular politics can cure the sickness of the soul of the West — a lost faith that appears irretrievable.

You say....

What's the answer?

Mission and Purpose

Mission and Purpose

Here’s the conclusion – do you know your Mission and Purpose?  How are you doing toward fulfilling it?

This is my story……

I have always had a deep need to know my mission and purpose, to identify whatever strengths I perceived I had and to take on tasks/projects that would advance what I understood of my mission and purpose.

It certainly was a key motivator for serving in the military for 23 years, in some form or fashion.  I believed it was giving back, serving the community/country where God had planned to grow me.  I don’t really think I would have done differently even if born in a country we might consider an enemy.

I struggled for years in church trying to see if I was to go into missions.  According to the process, I never found my people group to serve.   Been blessed in recent years to find that my people group is those of us in recovery who are broken sinners, redeemed, but working on struggling better and in healthier ways, with our particular issues.  It is so deeply satisfying to serve my brothers and sisters here.

When we had our children at home, one of my key drivers was to ensure they had a spiritual grounding that I had missed when growing up.  We can find ourselves lost in the wilderness without a compass.  But then knowing Jesus was my True North, my purpose was to ensure that my kiddos had a way to orienteer in this world with the Best Guide.  I have been honored to serve them in this way.

Although blessed with provision, my work career was a hellacious scramble for stability and cash flow.  I hated it.  Never so glad to leave it behind, as I found the arena to be incredibly hurtful, not only to me, but to so many friends who had no voice or strength to counter the many invalidating and condemning messages, day in and day out.  The only way I knew to keep my head above water was to try and start noontime Bible studies… to remind myself and the few others, that there was/is a persistent hope beyond what seems to be the reality staring at us in our face.  I am thankful to God for keeping me afloat in my otherwise sea of despair.

Along the way in life, my wife and I learned how to rebuild and strengthen our marriage, after a horrible start and season of separation.  It was in learning to strengthen our marriage, we began to share what we had learned with others, to encourage them that there is hope, and with some investment in education and change in practices, many struggles can be healed.   We have been so blessed over the last years to sit around our breakfast table, teaching and encouraging.

So in this time of what we call retirement, helping those strengthen their marriages, coaching those in recovery from life’s hurts, hang-ups and addictions, and by supporting family and friends, doing life together, we have our mission and purpose.  The common thread for me has been my relationship with Jesus, growing to trust and let go of my struggle to control.  The journey is the adventure, and it can be very difficult at times.

I share this to encourage you to consider…. What is holding your story together?  Are you struggling well?  If you need help, please reach out…….  

Repentance

Tomorrow is September 23^rd which is the 10^th of Tishri, Yom Kippur, or the ”Day of Atonement”, which is the holiest day of the Jewish year.  Yom Kippur is about purification, when the High Priest of old would enter the Holy-of-Holies of the Temple, and on behalf the nation of Israel, offer a blood sacrifice for the sins of the people.

I heard a good teaching today about how many of us judge others, have philosophies and opinions about how others should be living, and what politicians and nations should be doing to make things right.

The speaker’s conclusion was that rather than being worried about others’ sins, we need to focus on our own sin, repent to God the Father and engage with Jesus to walk out our own personal recovery.  We need to individually, honestly confront our denials, and rationalizations, owning our sin, and struggles, and repent to the Father, and share our struggle with a Christ following brother or sister.

Would you consider doing this today my friend?  The time is now. Bro. Rob

Question: "When is civil disobedience allowed for a Christian?"

Answer: The emperor of Rome from AD 54 to 68 was Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, also known simply as Nero. The emperor was not known for being a godly person and engaged in a variety of illicit acts, homosexual marriage being among them. In AD 64 the great Roman fire occurred, with Nero himself being suspected of arson. In his writings, the Roman senator and historian Tacitus recorded, “To get rid of the report [that he had started the fire], Nero fastened the guilt and inflicted the most exquisite tortures on a class hated for their abominations, called Christians by the populace” (Annals, XV).

It was during the reign of Nero that the apostle Paul wrote his epistle to the Romans. While one might expect him to encourage the Christians in Rome to rise up against their oppressive ruler, in the chapter 13, we find this instead:

“Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God. Therefore whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God; and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves. For rulers are not a cause of fear for good behavior, but for evil. Do you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is good and you will have praise from the same; for it is a minister of God to you for good. But if you do what is evil, be afraid; for it does not bear the sword for nothing; for it is a minister of God, an avenger who brings wrath on the one who practices evil. Therefore it is necessary to be in subjection, not only because of wrath, but also for conscience’ sake. For because of this you also pay taxes, for rulers are servants of God, devoting themselves to this very thing. Render to all what is due them: tax to whom tax is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor” (Romans 13:1–7).

Even under the reign of a ruthless and godless emperor, Paul, writing under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, tells his readers to be in subjection to the government. Moreover, he states that no authority exists other than that established by God, and that rulers are serving God in their political office.

Peter writes nearly the same thing in one of this two New Testament letters:
“Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right. For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men. Act as free men, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as bondslaves of God. Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king” (1 Peter 2:13–17).

Both Paul’s and Peter’s teachings have led to quite a few questions from Christians where civil disobedience is concerned. Do Paul and Peter mean that Christians are always to submit to whatever the government commands, no matter what is asked of them?

A Brief Look at the Various Views of Civil Disobedience
There are at least three general positions on the matter of civil disobedience. The anarchist view says that a person can choose to disobey the government whenever he likes and whenever he feels he is personally justified in doing so. Such a stance has no biblical support whatsoever, as evidenced in the writings of Paul in Romans 13.

The extremist patriot says that a person should always follow and obey his country, no matter what the command. As will be shown in a moment, this view also does not have biblical support. Moreover, it is not supported in the history of nations. For example, during the Nuremberg trials, the attorneys for the Nazi war criminals attempted to use the defense that their clients were only following the direct orders of the government and therefore could not be held responsible for their actions. However, one of the judges dismissed their argument with the simple question: “But gentlemen, is there not a law above our laws?”

The position the Scriptures uphold is one of biblical submission, with a Christian being allowed to act in civil disobedience to the government if it commands evil, such that it requires a Christian to act in a manner that is contrary to the clear teachings and requirements of God’s Word.

Civil Disobedience—Examples in Scripture
In Exodus 1, the Egyptian Pharaoh gave the clear command to two Hebrew midwives that they were to kill all male Jewish babies. An extreme patriot would have carried out the government’s order, yet the Bible says the midwives disobeyed Pharaoh and “feared God, and did not do as the king of Egypt had commanded them, but let the boys live” (Exodus 1:17). The Bible goes on to say the midwives lied to Pharaoh about why they were letting the children live; yet even though they lied and disobeyed their government, “God was good to the midwives, and the people multiplied, and became very mighty. Because the midwives feared God, He established households for them” (Exodus 1:20–21).

In Joshua 2, Rahab directly disobeyed a command from the king of Jericho to produce the Israelite spies who had entered the city to gain intelligence for battle. Instead, she let them down via a rope so they could escape. Even though Rahab had received a clear order from the top government official, she resisted the command and was redeemed from the city’s destruction when Joshua and the Israeli army destroyed it.

The book of 1 Samuel records a command given by King Saul during a military campaign that no one could eat until Saul had won his battle with the Philistines. However, Saul’s son Jonathan, who had not heard the order, ate honey to refresh himself from the hard battle the army had waged. When Saul found out about it, he ordered his son to die. However, the people resisted Saul and his command and saved Jonathan from being put to death (1 Samuel 14:45).

Another example of civil disobedience in keeping with biblical submission is found in 1 Kings 18. That chapter briefly introduces a man named Obadiah who “feared the Lord greatly.” When the queen Jezebel was killing God’s prophets, Obadiah took a hundred of them and hid them from her so they could live. Such an act was in clear defiance of the ruling authority’s wishes.

In 2 Kings, the only apparently approved revolt against a reigning government official is recorded. Athaliah, the mother of Ahaziah, began to destroy the royal offspring of the house of Judah. However, Joash the son of Ahaziah was taken by the king’s daughter and hidden from Athaliah so that the bloodline would be preserved. Six years later, Jehoiada gathered men around him, declared Joash to be king, and put Athaliah to death.

Daniel records a number of civil disobedience examples. The first is found in chapter 3 where Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego refused to bow down to the golden idol in disobedience to King Nebuchadnezzar’s command. The second is in chapter 6 where Daniel defies King Darius’ decree to not pray to anyone other than the king. In both cases, God rescued His people from the death penalty that was imposed, signaling His approval of their actions.

In the New Testament, the book of Acts records the civil disobedience of Peter and John towards the authorities that were in power at the time. After Peter healed a man born lame, Peter and John were arrested for preaching about Jesus and put in jail. The religious authorities were determined to stop them from teaching about Jesus; however, Peter said, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to give heed to you rather than to God, you be the judge; for we cannot stop speaking about what we have seen and heard” (Acts 4:19–20). Later, the rulers confronted the apostles again and reminded them of their command to not teach about Jesus, but Peter responded, “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29).

One last example of civil disobedience is found in the book of Revelation where the Antichrist commands all those who are alive during the end times to worship an image of himself. But the apostle John, who wrote Revelation, states that those who become Christians at the time will disobey the Antichrist and his government and refuse to worship the image (Revelation 13:15) just as Daniel’s companions violated Nebuchadnezzar’s decree to worship his idol.

Civil Disobedience—Conclusion
What conclusions can be drawn from the above biblical examples? The guidelines for a Christian’s civil disobedience can be summed as follows:

• Christians should resist a government that commands or compels evil and should work nonviolently within the laws of the land to change a government that permits evil.
• Civil disobedience is permitted when the government’s laws or commands are in direct violation of God’s laws and commands.
• If a Christian disobeys an evil government, unless he can flee from the government, he should accept that government’s punishment for his actions.
• Christians are certainly permitted to work to install new government leaders within the laws that have been established.

Lastly, Christians are commanded to pray for their leaders and for God to intervene in His time to change any ungodly path that they are pursuing: “First of all, then, I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men, for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity” (1 Timothy 2:1–2).

Pursuing Oneness with our Lord...

I used the attached as the basis for a devotional in Haiti recently, asking 'how could we grow in our (oneness) relationship with God (John 17:20-23), by applying healthy (oneness) marriage practices......?'

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Seven Ways to Develop Emotional Intimacy in Your Marriage 

Jill Savage, Founder & CEO of Hearts at Home 12/12/2010

"What do you think the word "intimacy" means?" asked the marriage retreat leader. After we all took a miserable stab at defining the word, she responded with, "In-to-me-see. Intimacy is seeing into each other's life. It's knowing each other's strengths and weaknesses. It's being aware of each other’s fears, hopes, and dreams."

Many of us define intimacy in marriage as sex and while that is certainly a valuable part of the marriage relationship, a healthy marriage has to have emotional intimacy to go the distance.

What exactly is emotional intimacy? Emotional intimacy occurs when there is enough trust and communication between you and your spouse that it allows you both to share your innermost selves. Deep emotional intimacy is when we feel wholly accepted, respected, and admired in the eyes of our mate even when they know our innermost struggles and failures. Emotional intimacy fosters compassion and support, providing a firm foundation for a marriage to last a lifetime.

Too many marriages today try to exist without emotional intimacy. Over time a marriage lacking intimacy will become empty, lifeless, and the husband and wife will find distance in their relationship. Emotional intimacy is the glue that holds relationships together, yet it is challenging for many of us to experience.

Why is it hard to develop emotional intimacy? First, there's the fear of rejection. (If I share the essence of who I really am, you might criticize or reject the real me.) Second, there's unfamiliarity with our own feelings, needs, or wants. (If I'm not sure what I feel or need, how can I share it with you?) Third, there's a lack of vocabulary to communicate our feelings accurately or to verbalize exactly what we want or need. (If I don't know the words to describe what I'm feeling or needing, then it's easier to just keep my thoughts to myself.) Fourth, we expect our spouse to just know. (You can read my mind, can't you?)

The question we need to ask is, "Do we have to live this way all of our lives?" And the answer to that is "Absolutely not!" Even after 23 years of marriage, my husband and I are discovering that emotional intimacy is a place where we need to grow and deepen our relationship. We're taking these steps to strengthen our relationship:

·         Pay attention to your own emotions. Many of us have two words to describe our emotions: happy or angry. But there are dozens of emotions that fall in between those words. Become familiar with emotions by reading up on the subject and paying attention to what really goes on inside of you. You might even want to keep a journal of your thoughts and emotions throughout the day.

·         Become familiar with your "inner self." What are the messages that run in your mind throughout the day? Where do you feel you don't measure up so you fear being vulnerable? How has your pace of life been a false place of safety for you to keep an emotional distance from others because there just isn't time?

·         Evaluate your past. Take a walk back to your childhood and consider the emotional connectedness of the family you grew up in. Was it ok to express feelings in your home? Did your family really know one another or were they simply operating as roommates living under one roof?

·         Determine to be a "safe" person for your spouse to share his/her emotions, thoughts, and feelings with. If you are characterized by criticism or trying to fix your spouse, you will close the door on inviting him/her to share.

·         Increase the time you spend together as a couple. Intimacy can't be created without spending time talking not just about the events of the day, but also how you feel about the events of the day.

·         Deal with conflict swiftly. Don't resort to the silent treatment or snide remarks. Learn to "fight fair" by getting the issue out on the table and dealing with it with respect. This will grow trust and deepen intimacy.

·         Get help. You may find that a marriage counselor is helpful in launching you and your spouse into new emotional territory. If you struggle with emotional intimacy more than your spouse, a few private counseling sessions might help you learn some things about yourself and move from where you are to where you want to be.