Monday, September 1, 2014
Sunday, June 1, 2014
challenges
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| Working with men in Celebrate Recovery I see a host of struggling sinners, like myself, striving to attain a healthier sobriety from our respective issues, finding peace with our God as a part of the process. Those who are unrepentant in their issue(s), from my observation, fail to find that same reconciliation. What I find offensive of LBGT community & its supporters is the need to legitimize their behavior as deserving special treatment or consideration. I have not seen those with other sins demanding likewise. Not only in the workplace & courthouse, but now they want acceptance theologically. Not simply as a sinner, which I would readily accept, but they want scripture interpreted in ways that make their agenda palatable. I think this is sufficiently wrong to be labeled ‘evil’. It will garner its supporters, but I believe it is another marker in our timeline toward the end of the age. |
Monday, March 31, 2014
the 'one thing'
Sometime in 1974...probably a sunny Saturday morning~but then aren't all Saturday mornings in San Diego sunny?~ after we'd been inspired by so many 'day-dreaming' trips to Chase Maple and Pine in Chula Vista (home to 'outrageously gorgeous ...
and with prices-to-match' furniture) we adjusted our expectations, checked our budget and set our sights on the much more affordable unfinished furniture stores lining El Cajon Boulevard near our favorite Pizza Hut.
We were about to make a very symbolic purchase.....no, not the pizza.....although I'm sure we ate at that Pizza Hut that day. You see, we'd been married three years and had recently reunited and recommitted to one another after a 9 month separation and intense individual and couple's counseling. Because of the 'transitional' nature of our first three years, we'd lived in a combined total of 5 rental situations up to this point and so we'd just rented furniture along the way, as well.
Today we were going to make our first major furniture purchase: a table. I'm sure we just thought we were buying a 'place to eat meals' as an alternative to sitting on the floor or on the couch in front of the TV. Yeah, wouldn't that be what you'd be thinking? How many of us actually get philosophical when buying furniture, really?
So we purchased an unfinished, round table with a substantial claw-footed base. Should have picked up the sandpaper and stain on the way home....but the call of the pizza was probably way too compelling.
We threw a bed sheet over it and there it remained, unstained, for a year. It was only the 'threat' of having friends over for Thanksgiving dinner that year that motivated us to uncover
this beauty and finish the project.
That table has been with us 40 years, has traveled many miles, graced the kitchens of our 6 abodes during that time. The chairs that have surrounded it have come and gone....but that table, well, it's 'family'.
In Shauna Niequist's book Bread and Wine, she describes 'the table' in a way that has come to have a lot of meaning to us:
"The table is the life raft, the center point, the home base of who we are together." (p.30)
And when you think about all the things that happen 'around the table' you can see why that metaphor is apropos. Our family archive of photographs, which documents our journey, features countless pictures in which this table is displaying birthday cakes, Thanksgiving and Christmas gathering dinners, and science fair projects. You can almost mark Laura's, Allyson's and Brian's ages by the heights they were when photographed standing near the table. One picture, a favorite of mine, captures our Easter egg-dying experience around that table when all three of our darlin's had chickenpox.
Good talks....hard talks were had at this table. Tears were shed, problems were hashed out. Feelings were hurt at this table and forgiveness was asked and given and reconciliation occurred around this table. Sometimes ones left this table in anger, slamming footsteps echoing into another room. But they always came back and come back still. Like you'd return to a life raft, considering the alternative.
It was around this table that Rob and I would work out the family budget, on green bar ledger paper, before the advent of computers. Some of the budgets had more 'red' than 'black', but never once did we miss a meal or a house payment. God's Grace and His Provision has been, and continues to be, abundant in this place.
During the season of 2002-2004, our table was the site of mapping out wedding budgets and the 'staging area' for the mailing of invitations, reception table centerpieces and the wrapping of gifts as our family grew in size and love as first, Allyson, then Brian followed by Laura each joined their lives to another.
We've gathered in their homes, around their 'life rafts', and we sense the same quality of 'welcome' and 'you're family' that we would hope anyone feels when they come into our home. That's a good thing.
These days our 'life raft' is most often the setting for a simple meal for two, as the afternoon sun fills the room. It serves as a comfortable gathering place for the pre-marital counseling and marriage mentoring that we do.......over 100 couples have joined us here over the past 10 years. It still gets to be the 'staging area' when a long-anticipated road trip or camping weekend is in sight, as well. And frequently it's graced with the sticky fingerprints of small, eager hands......bits of play-doh, crayons, paper airplanes, and magical drawings......delightful and precious reminders that our family, and the experiences around our 'life raft' continue to grow in size and the capacity to give and receive love.
I'd love to know what story this table would tell, if it could.
I want to remember all the details. I've tried to imagine it here, but I'm sure I fall short.
Where's your 'life raft'? Can you hear the story it's trying to tell?
We were about to make a very symbolic purchase.....no, not the pizza.....although I'm sure we ate at that Pizza Hut that day. You see, we'd been married three years and had recently reunited and recommitted to one another after a 9 month separation and intense individual and couple's counseling. Because of the 'transitional' nature of our first three years, we'd lived in a combined total of 5 rental situations up to this point and so we'd just rented furniture along the way, as well.
Today we were going to make our first major furniture purchase: a table. I'm sure we just thought we were buying a 'place to eat meals' as an alternative to sitting on the floor or on the couch in front of the TV. Yeah, wouldn't that be what you'd be thinking? How many of us actually get philosophical when buying furniture, really?
So we purchased an unfinished, round table with a substantial claw-footed base. Should have picked up the sandpaper and stain on the way home....but the call of the pizza was probably way too compelling.
We threw a bed sheet over it and there it remained, unstained, for a year. It was only the 'threat' of having friends over for Thanksgiving dinner that year that motivated us to uncover
this beauty and finish the project.
 |
That table has been with us 40 years, has traveled many miles, graced the kitchens of our 6 abodes during that time. The chairs that have surrounded it have come and gone....but that table, well, it's 'family'.
In Shauna Niequist's book Bread and Wine, she describes 'the table' in a way that has come to have a lot of meaning to us:
"The table is the life raft, the center point, the home base of who we are together." (p.30)
And when you think about all the things that happen 'around the table' you can see why that metaphor is apropos. Our family archive of photographs, which documents our journey, features countless pictures in which this table is displaying birthday cakes, Thanksgiving and Christmas gathering dinners, and science fair projects. You can almost mark Laura's, Allyson's and Brian's ages by the heights they were when photographed standing near the table. One picture, a favorite of mine, captures our Easter egg-dying experience around that table when all three of our darlin's had chickenpox.
Good talks....hard talks were had at this table. Tears were shed, problems were hashed out. Feelings were hurt at this table and forgiveness was asked and given and reconciliation occurred around this table. Sometimes ones left this table in anger, slamming footsteps echoing into another room. But they always came back and come back still. Like you'd return to a life raft, considering the alternative.
It was around this table that Rob and I would work out the family budget, on green bar ledger paper, before the advent of computers. Some of the budgets had more 'red' than 'black', but never once did we miss a meal or a house payment. God's Grace and His Provision has been, and continues to be, abundant in this place.
During the season of 2002-2004, our table was the site of mapping out wedding budgets and the 'staging area' for the mailing of invitations, reception table centerpieces and the wrapping of gifts as our family grew in size and love as first, Allyson, then Brian followed by Laura each joined their lives to another.
We've gathered in their homes, around their 'life rafts', and we sense the same quality of 'welcome' and 'you're family' that we would hope anyone feels when they come into our home. That's a good thing.
These days our 'life raft' is most often the setting for a simple meal for two, as the afternoon sun fills the room. It serves as a comfortable gathering place for the pre-marital counseling and marriage mentoring that we do.......over 100 couples have joined us here over the past 10 years. It still gets to be the 'staging area' when a long-anticipated road trip or camping weekend is in sight, as well. And frequently it's graced with the sticky fingerprints of small, eager hands......bits of play-doh, crayons, paper airplanes, and magical drawings......delightful and precious reminders that our family, and the experiences around our 'life raft' continue to grow in size and the capacity to give and receive love.
I'd love to know what story this table would tell, if it could.
I want to remember all the details. I've tried to imagine it here, but I'm sure I fall short.
Where's your 'life raft'? Can you hear the story it's trying to tell?
Sunday, March 30, 2014
2nd Chances...
Today my wife, Cathie, and I
celebrated the 40th anniversary of our reunion, our 2nd
chance at marriage, after 9 months of legal separation that ended March 31st,
1974. We paused to humbly remember, say a prayer of thanksgiving, and
celebrate a meal with our children, their spouses, and our grandchildren.
It is often easier to believe in 2nd chances for others than it is
for yourself, certainly that was the way it was for me back then. While
today we serve a God of 2nd chances, until it is personally
experienced in the arena of life, the appreciation and understanding of what
forgiveness and redemption means in a life, a marriage, a family, can be
lost. With God’s intervention in my life, our lives, some solid Baptist
marriage counseling, encouragement from my father, and my friend, Ted Shown, my
wife and I journeyed through a horribly dark and emotionally wrenching time to
get to a point to be able to start our marriage again. A ‘do-over’ where
the awareness of what was almost lost was keenly felt and acknowledged, as if
we could actually peer over the edge of the precipice into which we almost
fell.
I say this to encourage you, to
always be asking God “what am I to be learning from this experience?” It
could be most anything…. life, marriage, work, children. As it’s said,
God never wastes a hurt. I believe that all life experiences are to
mature us spiritually.
Thank you
Jesus, my Lord, for what you did, are doing, and will do in my, and our,
life. I humbly acknowledge that You redeemed my marriage, and I am deeply
grateful. Please keep the experience fresh and in the forefront of my
awareness all the days of my life. You are an Awesome God!
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Just finished...
People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil by M. Scott PeckMy rating: 3 of 5 stars
I found the psychiatric case studies (chapters 1-5) most instructive, especially in light of the author's reflection on his own thoughts, feelings and struggles in the course of therapy. I appreciated the insights he had on reconciling traditional science with a moral, value-based diagnosis of evil (chapter 7) and the daunting challenge it represents. I thought chapter 6 regarding group evil to be a waste of ink. While a valid diagnosis, it offered no path out, no practical treatment plan and was a diatribe against the military-industrial complex. It was less than instructive.
The one thing I would have wanted was to hear more of the author's faith journey during the time period and discussion how it changed and challenged him in his approach to therapy. There were some limited references but I would have appreciated more.
Certainly worth the read for those who counsel.
View all my reviews
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
One of my greatest blessings...
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|
One of God’s great blessings in my life is having participated
in a Wednesday morning Bible study with some friends over the last 30 plus years.
It’s difficult to describe the richness & depth of these friendships… the
wise counsel, the good laughs, the heartfelt prayers & simply walking along
side one another during times of joy, sorrow, celebration & loss. May you find friends that are deep, safe, fun
& trustworthy. May you know the
value of community & risk engagement.
May you find people with whom you can be vulnerable & process your
hurts. May God give you the courage to try….
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Friday, February 14, 2014
One Day at a Time
Joe Walsh's song 'One Day At A Time' has always spoken to me about focusing on living today, with its joys and struggles. CR has encouraged me to live in the now, not rehashing my yesterdays, nor worrying about tomorrow. I encourage you to live today to its fullest, relying on Jesus as your higher power to see you through. Blessings.
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